Dad asked me something curious last night and it’s been on my mind all day today. He asked if I liked anyone.

Actually, his exact words were, “Ain’t nobody got your fancy?” Which I think is the best way to ask and doesn’t make it AS awkward. Anyway, I answered no. Because there isn’t anyone. I honestly don’t know if I want there to ever be.

Of course nobody ever want to be alone and we want someone to cherish us and blah blah blah. Typical human desires. I’m just afraid that I don’t fit that mold. I don’t just want someone to be there for me… I want THE ONE to be there WITH me.

Much to my dismay, I am not an actual princess, even if I strive to be treated as such (dad and brothers spoiled me, what can I say). But I do know that no man is an island. And no man should have to endure work and struggle alone to provide for his wife or family. It’s a shared responsibility.

I’m extremely independent. I do not need anyone’s assistance or approval, especially not a man’s. I just have never felt the desire to actually want to settle down with anyone. But I know that if it were to happen, I would give 100 percent and more to make things work and keep that person happy. It’s just so hard to find someone like that in today’s times. I fear that I never will.

But my hope and trust remain in the Lord. I just remember that he will provide in his time, not according to my wants, but according to what he knows I need.

At times I get sad and frustrated from dealing with selfish men who do not acknowledge my worth, but I remain hopeful because I know that it will take a hell of a man to change my views on commitment. Someone who is good and kind and much better than anyone I’ve ever even fathomed an idea about.

No dad, nobody currently has my fancy. But the future has my curiosity.

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