I can’t seem to comprehend why I think back to my mistakes and then let them consume me until I feel bad. Why do I do that?! It’s like I can’t let go of things even though I try so hard. I don’t need to be thinking about the past. Obviously whatever was left behind had to be removed from my life for a reason.

Why can’t I just move on? Why do I still think about someone I dated 2 years ago? Why do people still ask me about him? Why does it bother me when they do? Do I still love him? Am I still IN love with him?

I can answer most of those questions with “I don’t know.” But the last 2 are the most important. So, yes and no. I wish it was no for both, but I genuinely feel that once you have truly loved someone, a real and honest love, you can’t just throw it away. Some type of love or care will remain. If not, then it’s the memories.

I wish I could get away from them. Sometimes I wish I could just forget the entire relationship and pretend nothing ever happened to me. I never got my heart broken. I never got hurt. My thoughts on love and marriage didn’t change.

I just want to move on and not have to ever see or hear about him again.

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