Day 117. Lost as ever. Will I ever be found?

I am in a perpetual shitstorm.

Nobody knows.

I won’t make it public knowledge.

I only complain to the same 3 people. They are tired of me.

I’m tired of me.

I hate myself for the things I do. The actions I take. The mistakes I make.

I’m just tired of feeling like crap.

I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of saying I’m tired.

I want to start over.

What does that even look like?

I know you’re there God. I know you’re waiting for me to come back to you. But I don’t see you anymore. I got too lost and can’t find my next destination.

I need rest.