Archives for posts with tag: Future

Enter pre-birthday celebration. All fun and games. Nice time with friends and family.

Enter my past to complicate my birthfay celebration. Why is he here and why would God bring him back into my life? What do I do?

Old me would have quickly fallen back into his charm. New me? Still did a bit, but not in the way I thought I would. I just needed answers. I had so many questions. So we talked and straightened things out. No affection from me at all. I don’t feel a thing anymore except for sorrow for him. His situation is so sad. And that could’ve been me.

So many times we wonder why God wouldn’t let us be with the person we found so perfect and rarely are we ever allowed to see why. I was shown why. God was watching out for me… keeping me for something greater. Someone better.

Maybe as an outcome from engaging in conversation with him I ended up sick and in the emergency clinic. But again, God was watching out for me. The doctors found nothing wrong. I am still in pain, but so grateful for being healthy. I’m just amazed at God.

No matter what we do, how far lost we get, how many times we turn away from him, how often we deny him, the things we do to make us feel unworthy of his love… He still loves us so deeply. He calls for us. He wants us happy and healthy and full of life. How can we turn him away?

God is my top priority right now. Even though work is stressful and starts again tomorrow, I am trying to trust him more and not worry. Nothing good comes from worrying. It doesn’t help. But trusting in God and knowing that things will work out does give me a calming sensation that nothing else can take away.

Until tomorrow… I will sleep and hope to dream of my TRUE forever and ever. Whoever he may be. I will pray for him and for his health and happiness. And I will focus on God and allow him to take me where ever I’m meant to go and use me as a vessel of his love.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new chance for me to share my love with a new set of children. Time to rest.

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Day 41. I watched the movie “Coffee Shop” twice in the past week. It’s one of those cheesy romantic comedies that are super unrealistic and set the standards for men and expectations for women too high (do I sound like a love hater?). Though, it was still good and had a good message to it.

The main character reminded me a bit of myself. Big heart, desire to help those she loves, trouble finding Mr. Right, enjoys coffee more than a normal person should, ambitious, and a stubborn/feisty attitude when rubbed the wrong way. It was like watching a movie about myself, except I don’t have blonde hair and blue eyes (and I didn’t get to kiss the handsome guy at the end!!!).

Towards the end of the movie when she was in a rut and didn’t know what to do next, something her friend told her really stuck with me. He said:

“Don’t lose yourself in the temporary. No one has ever seen, no one has ever heard, and no one can ever imagine the things God has planned for them.”

How powerful is that statement? I found myself rushing this morning, just like every other morning, but now I try to catch myself before stressing out. Yes, there is a high possibility that I will run late again, but I have to remember to be patient. I cannot get stuck in the temporary.

We often forget that we are praising the Lord in our work so have to give our all and do the very best we can. We do not know the promises God has for us. We can only trust that his will is greater than our thoughts. Then we just need to let go and let God take care of it all.