Archives for posts with tag: Understanding

Days 114-115.

If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are good enough. You are worth it. You belong here on this planet. You are loved, even when you feel you are most UNLOVABLE.

It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to fall sometimes; you must ALWAYS get back up though.

Don’t be conquered by people who are intentionally trying to bring you down. Don’t try to understand them either. And definitely do not ever, EVER waste your time and tears crying over them or something they said/did to you. They are not now, and will NEVER be worth your sorrows.

Your friends and family will always be there for you and understand what you’re going through, even when you don’t even have the words to explain what you are feeling. Surround yourself with people you can be your true self with and can open up to. Don’t spend a single minute of your life hanging around people you have to impress. YOU DON’T HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF TO ANYONE THAT IS YOUR TRUE FRIEND! They will take you flaws and all.

Always make time to do the things you love. Even when you’re extremely busy, set time aside for things that make you happy.

There is very little that good music, good coffee, good food, and time spent with good friends can’t cute.

No prayer is overlooked or ignored. It doesn’t matter who you are; God hears all prayers, no matter how big or small.

Despite all bad that has occurred in life, there is a God and he loves you. If you don’t believe in him, put in some effort to actually seek him. I promise you he will make himself known. But you can only feel his presence if your heart is actually open and willing to accept his existence. It will be worth it.

God is not a magician. Things will not be granted at the snap of your fingers. You actually have to do work and take credit for your actions in life. Accept responsibility for the things you do. Own up to your failures and then move on.

Always, ALWAYS be kinder than necessary. Go out of your way to be nice. Very few people on our great Earth appreciate genuine kindness because they don’t experience it too often. Be patient with those people. Better yet, be patient with everyone.

Don’t forget to be happy. Life is too short to be anything else.

**I will always be the reader. I will always come back to this.

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Days 44 & 45. I didn’t make it the full month. I barely made it half a month. I was just so stressed and tired and peer pressured to drink today that I gave up my attempt dry August.

I feel like garbage. I don’t want to drink anymore… I really, truly wanted to give it up forever. It is just SO hard. Literally, it is a challenge for me to not do it for an extended period of time. I could do it on my own, but once I’m around the presence of others, that’s where I fail.

I want to disappear. I don’t want to exist within this world anymore. I want to take a break from all of the people, but I know it’s not possible at the moment. Everyone just challenges me, and maybe I even challenge myself a bit more, but I just can’t handle things. I’m failing as usual.

I can’t run away though. I have to face this struggle head on. And it’s hard, but it’ll get done.

Days 42 & 43. I opened the Bible tonight a bit reluctantly and asked God to lead me to what he wanted me to read. I stopped in the book of first Corinthians and felt him tell me to stop. No coincidence that the verse I read was the exact same verse I wrote about last.

“What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him.”

I am not surprised. I know God is repeating this to me for a reason that is still currently unknown. What is he trying to tell me through this?

I am stressed and overwhelmed, but I don’t feel it upon my shoulders anymore. I am sticking up for myself. I’m not putting myself into any situations or relationships where I feel abused, manipulated, used, disrespected, or underappreciated. He is with me. He is helping me. And he’s letting me know that I may not be able to see it yet, but he has something greater planned for me.

Why do we get so caught up with things that are out of our control? Like the way people think of us, or even someone breaking our heart. We can’t stop that from happening. I can’t force anyone to like me. I can’t force anyone to think of me in a nice way. But I can pray about it and let God take control.

That’s really all it is; letting go of the wheel and trusting God has better control over things than we do. We try to force things, make things work with people who we aren’t meant to work with, keep balance over our work life and home life and everything else in between. But things still end up messy.

Just like my dad says, “Anything always happens.” And it does. We don’t know what will happen to us tomorrow. We don’t even know what will happen to us in the next minute. All we know is that we are alive and breathing and blessed beyond measure.

I am so incredibly fortunate to be blessed with an abundance of gifts like awareness, understanding, patience, and compassion. Gifts that people often overlook or don’t care much for. But I so appreciate them and adore the great God who allowed me to have them.

No, I don’t know what is in store for me. However, I can live with that and be okay.

I am okay.

Day 41. I watched the movie “Coffee Shop” twice in the past week. It’s one of those cheesy romantic comedies that are super unrealistic and set the standards for men and expectations for women too high (do I sound like a love hater?). Though, it was still good and had a good message to it.

The main character reminded me a bit of myself. Big heart, desire to help those she loves, trouble finding Mr. Right, enjoys coffee more than a normal person should, ambitious, and a stubborn/feisty attitude when rubbed the wrong way. It was like watching a movie about myself, except I don’t have blonde hair and blue eyes (and I didn’t get to kiss the handsome guy at the end!!!).

Towards the end of the movie when she was in a rut and didn’t know what to do next, something her friend told her really stuck with me. He said:

“Don’t lose yourself in the temporary. No one has ever seen, no one has ever heard, and no one can ever imagine the things God has planned for them.”

How powerful is that statement? I found myself rushing this morning, just like every other morning, but now I try to catch myself before stressing out. Yes, there is a high possibility that I will run late again, but I have to remember to be patient. I cannot get stuck in the temporary.

We often forget that we are praising the Lord in our work so have to give our all and do the very best we can. We do not know the promises God has for us. We can only trust that his will is greater than our thoughts. Then we just need to let go and let God take care of it all.